A mentor once told me, “you build a way of life and then the way of life builds you.” He told me this after I left home for the first time, and was trying to figure out how to find a new rhythm for my day to day life.
In a world where there are so many ideas about how we should live, it can be difficult to sort through. How do we build a way of life that helps us flourish in the season that we are in, and also takes into account our unique interests and circumstances?
It’s so easy to go on social media and see examples of other people’s “morning routines” or “daily checklists.” Maybe we compare ourselves to the prayer lives of our friends and family. But all of us have limited hours in the day, and so, it is important to carefully discern the practices we choose to include in our daily lives.
St. Ignatius speaks of how discernment is the art of choosing between different good things.
Therefore, learning what good and healthy practices will fit into our individual lives can help us to build a way of life that in turn, can help us grow in our relationship with God.
Self-knowledge is a good starting point for building a daily practice. Knowing what is important to us can help us prioritize certain activities over others.
As a young adult, I spent some time living in an intentional community that had a set daily schedule. This included shared meals, times of study, personal prayer, recreation and community devotions. The days were full of meaningful activities that connected me with God, yet I sometimes found myself craving time to do things outside of the schedule. Things like going on a quiet walk alone, journaling and exercise—ways that I connect with God holistically were hard to get into the already full days. Recognizing that I missed these things helped me when I finished my time with the community and started living on my own. I knew that the structure of daily prayer and study was something I would bring forward into my new season of life but I also had a baseline for adding other things that were important to me.
On a practical note, start by asking yourself some basic questions about what helps you feel grounded and connected. Are you an introvert who needs quiet time to function well? Maybe you need alone time after your work day is done. Do you feel your best when you are around others? Maybe finding someone to go to daily Mass with will help you build that into your day.
Another part of this self-knowledge is knowing what times of day are your high and low points. I am a morning person, so for me it is important to complete my daily practices of prayer, exercise and quiet time with my coffee while I am feeling energized. Other people might find it more helpful to accomplish their practices in the evening or at different points throughout the day.
Of course, as well as knowing ourselves, it is also important to be listening to how God is drawing us to grow closer to Himself through our routines. There have been many times where I have found that a once-life giving prayer practice has turned stale. This experience has prompted me to remain open to the Holy Spirit and the new ways He is inviting me to connect more deeply in my relationship with God. There have been seasons where I go to early morning Mass before work, seasons where my prayer is based around a certain spiritual book, or even times as a young mother, where connecting with God was simply listening to praise and worship while feeding my baby.
It is important to note that connecting with God through our daily practices and habits is not limited to structured times of prayer. Humans are body, mind and soul and thus, we can be sure that God wants to be present to us in all kinds of different activities.
In the movie Chariots of Fire, Christian Olympic runner Eric Liddell speaks to his sister of his relationship with God, saying “He [....] made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” Any activity where we feel alive and joyful is an opportunity to know that we are in the presence of God, who invites us into his creativity.
It has been so helpful for me to realize that my daily practice of making bread is a moment for me to grow in my relationship with the Lord. And so, building time in our days not only for prayer, but also for other activities that we love will not only make our routines more sustainable, but also help us to enter into God’s presence.
Building a daily practice may mean we give up other things we are used to. It certainly has the potential for helping us grow in discipline. For me, keeping my morning routine of prayer sometimes means that I don’t have time to get work done or answer emails before my son wakes up. Even though these things are also important, I know that I will feel more peaceful if I do stick to my daily practice instead of letting distractions pull me this way and that.
I would recommend this free guidebook to help get ideas on what a daily, weekly, monthly, and even yearly routine could look like for you.
